Ted’s Manifesto: Traveling, Life, and Turning 30

Today, my best friend Ted turns 30. The following is an excerpt from his in “Happy Birthday to Me: A 30 year Man ifesto (of sorts)”

“Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher. “Utterly Meaningless! Everything is meaningless.” What does man gain from all his labor at which he toils under the sun? Generations come and generations go, but the earth remains forever.

Today I am 30.

I don’t feel 30, or even 29. I still feel like a child. When will I feel like a man? I’m not sure if I will ever feel like a man, or be one.

When I officially became a man (the first time at 18), I was in the darkest place of my life. Depression has a way of making you feel like you’ve experienced everything before, even if you haven’t. So there was nothing new under the sun. And still isn’t.

Traveling the world should feel exhilarating, like new lifetimes folded within new lifetimes, transformative.

And some days it is.

And most days I walk a knife’s edge between the vast love of God and the vast chasm of loneliness that seeks to engulf me with despair.

Is it better to have God in hand? Or be constantly desperate to merely catch a glimpse of him from day to day (for fear that I will die if I don’t)?

I’m not sure what I expected to find here, across the globe, that I didn’t find at home. Something better? Or more of the same?

Nevermind.

I care about so much less than I did when I was younger. By less, I mean a smaller number of things overall. But at the same time I care much more for those smaller number of things.

And so at age 30, I will take a moment to share my thoughts on some of those things with you.

the Bigger love
I feel safer than ever before — safer because I know Love just a little better — safer because there is something Bigger pressing up against my being.

Around the world, travelers everywhere are seeking good things: adventure, excitement, meaning, purpose, a good time, spirituality, the right kind of power, each other, place. With all their hearts they are seeking something Bigger than themselves.

Some are content with what they find. And some are driven to keep looking. Bethany and I are no different. We are committed to Jesus and his church, and yet, like every other traveler, we are seeking all of the same thrills, something Bigger. Not bigger than Jesus, mind you. But bigger than our thoughts about Jesus. And so we are on the same journey, not necessarily headed in the same direction, but seeking essentially the same thing. I have great respect for our fellow travelers. It’s a courageous endeavor…

Continue Reading at emoti:i.

Happy, happy, happy birthday, to the “nicest boy I ever met” (-Bethany’s journal, age 15)
Thank you for being my traveling partner, my life companion, and a true example of faith, hope, and love. Life is so rich with you in it!