<Note: Updates switched to an analog notebook + pen. I’ll return to this space in just a bit.>
Day 64: Sunday, June 3rd, 2018
A mix between a day of rest and a day of unrest. Afternoon writing. Evening online meetup with a fellow PDX writer. (Amy, a poet.) Revisiting the steps of this path. No sense making haste if it means waste, but I’m antsy.
Day 63: Saturday, June 2nd, 2018
Re-working other chapters based on feedback. Feels like tugging a ball of yard. (I’m not terribly fond of being a cat.)
Day 62: Friday, June 1, 2018
Reading and re-reading friends and acquaintances’ books to see how they’ve worked their own magic. Worrier’s Guide to the End of the World today.
Day 61: Thursday, May 31st, 2018
Email exchange with an unrelated editor. (Too friendly? Too formal? What the heck!? People in the industry are still just people. No harm in being real.) Writing group met in person. Perspectives: break one into two chapters? An out of the blue email reply from Salama brought tears to my eyes shortly after noon while I stood in my kitchen, again questioning the whole project. Worked through writing exercises from Bill Roorbach’s Writing Life Stories. (The map exercise took me back to that exercise in University in New Zealand.) I made it two notebook pages in with my chicken scratch before Ted came to find me, nearly asleep, and he suggested I call it a night and go to bed right then and their while he finished cleaning he house. How could I say no? I’ve been burning the candle at both ends. Early mornings are great, so long as I get enough rest beforehand.
Day 60: Wednesday, May 30th, 2018
Up early! That 4ish hour again. Re-writing chapter one. Sending off updates for readers to engage again.
Day 59: Tuesday, May 29th, 2018
Running through scenes in my head while face down at the massage therapist’s office. Wondering if I have enough life in these stories I’m stringing along? What keeps the reader? What is the reader curious about? -Who are you? -How did you do it? -Where did you go? -What did you do there? -What did it feel like? -What did it matter? -What did it mean? Gave a friend feedback on a 4,000 word piece. Feels so good to help another writer polish.
Day 58: Monday, May 28th, 2018
Introductions continue in Grammatical Foibles. (#teamfoibles for short.) Finished Bird by Bird. Resonated with putting an octopus to bed. Confirmed that the payoff is the writing itself. More YouTube videos of agents and editors.
Day 57: Sunday, May 27th, 2018
Almost done with Bird by Bird. Dwelling on notecard moments. Dug out my favorite old spiral bound journal and met myself like an old, safe friend. Doughnuts and conversation with travel writing friends from 2012. I shared the premise of my project and received hearty encouragement.
Day 56: Saturday, May 26th, 2018
Wondering how to tell the story? Wrote at the Hosteling International cafe in downtown Portland today while Lucie was at acting class. Bits of the story came to life. Bird by Birding it.
Day 55: Friday, May 25th, 2018
GDPR mayhem. I don’t want to be like all those companies and their mass email campaigns. A flurry of books came in on the library hold shelf. Discovering all I can reach. Stuck on the first chapter re-write.
Day 54: Thursday, May 24th, 2018
Knots in stomach over work issues. No magic in writing. Doubts galore. Read “Who Will Buy Your Book” and connected with the conclusion.
Day 53: Wednesday, May 23rd, 2018
Assembled the profile directory for our new writing group. Possibly spending too much time on writing and not enough on other tasks.
Day 52: Tuesday, May 22nd, 2018
Watching* more hope*writers videos. (*Really just listening while I’m getting through my other tasks. Also: three asterisks in two lines is a bit much, but I’m not going to find that footnote plugin right now.)
Day 51: Monday, May 21st, 2018
Wishing it was easier to swing time for re-writing. Feeling anxious about the window. I want to query agents, which requires the finished (updated) proposal, which requires sample chapter re-writes and an overview re-write and a query letter write (and, let’s face it, probably re-write!). Every day that I’m not done with those things = another day tacked on to the 6-8 week waiting period after sending queries. (And, let’s also face this, while we’re at it: 6-8 weeks is likely being overly optimistic.) Excited about my new writing groups.
Day 50: Sunday, May 20th, 2018
Sick kiddo = a setback on the weekend writing. On Day 50, though, where do I stand? This chronological note jotting started on the day I submitted a proposal through the FFW portal and kicked off a higher level of commitment to the journey. Since then, I’ve doggedly pursued more learning (once a tenacious home schooler, always a tenacious home schooler – even in my mid-thirties): interviews, articles, workshops, courses on structure, proposals and publicity, agent relationships, marketing and PR, publication, and more. I’ve attended a writing conference, built and strengthened friendships with fellow writers, cultivated contacts in the publishing world, formed in person and online writing groups (in addition to the earlier publication group I fostered this winter and spring), plotted my proposal revisions, and started the re-write work. It’s all just a labor of love at this point. (Or a metaphorical pregnancy. We’re nowhere near the labor, I suspect.)
Day 49: Saturday, May 19th, 2018
Percolation.
Day 48: Friday, May 18th, 2018
A kid day. Fully, completely, mom. No landscape architecture, no writing. No joke.
Day 47: Thursday, May 17th, 2018
Useful feedback today from my new in-person writing group. It’s been a slowish process, making the right connections with other committed writers and finding voices to challenge and sharpen. From “I feel like I’m being dragged along behind your suitcase” (ouch! but also, yes, valid point) to underlines and exclamations that confirm the heart behind the art, this is good. Also, thank goodness for Voxer messages and the digital writing group I’m helping form. Coalescence.
Day 46: Wednesday, May 16th, 2018
Kiddos woke so early I didn’t get to do the AM work, but I spent time gleaning from a few more H*W interviews and teaching videos during spurts of drafting (plans, not words). Thank goodness for earbuds and drawing boards.
Day 45: Tuesday, May 15th, 2018
Slept in until 5am. More writing. Not an enormous amount, but enough to feel proud of progress once I was back in step with my day job.
Day 44: Monday, May 14th, 2018
Up at 4:00am to jump early into the new week. Drafts and more drafts.
Day 43: Sunday, May 13th, 2018
More early AM writing. More afternoon writing. Recalling building materials in Peru, thanks to a little research trip down memory lane. Switched gears to do a bit of reading/feedback offering for other writers in my life. Appreciating my community of creatives — each of us trying to offer something meaningful to other hearts and minds.
Day 42: Saturday, May 12th, 2018
Processing next steps re: overhauled proposal, agents, excerpts. Woke early again to tap more words out into the world (well, the little world of my studio writing nook).
Day 41: Friday, May 11th, 2018
Feedback from my writing group. Direction for some upcoming weekend work.
Day 40: Thursday, May 10th, 2018
Forty days. Aye. I think forty days ago I submitted my first book proposal to FFW and felt exhilaration and apprehension and a hunch that this was a long road. I’m okay with that…so long as it’s not forty years?
Day 39: Wednesday, May 9th, 2018
I’ve been recently working through passages about Lima, Peru. Then this little snippet of a story came across my radar: the Landscape Architecture Foundation’s Olmsted Scholar, Karina Ramos from Peru, working on case study research and design on the outskirts of Lima. I love the meaning such a press release takes on in my own heart, where I hold memories of precious people and the sticks and stones and complexities of life.
Day 38: Tuesday, May 8th, 2018
Joining in the excitement over my writers’ group pals finding success and illuminated next steps. Good company; great encouragement. Loving also being a Patreon supporter of The WRLD at Home and this week’s feature on Anthony Doerr’s work with words.
Day 37: Monday, May 7th, 2018
Brian Doyle for the third day in a row: a friend on Twitter shared “The Last Prayer” and all I could think of was my cousin’s husband, even now slipping away from life and family.
Day 36: Sunday, May 6th, 2018
Progress today: issuing invites to submit for membership to our Grammatical Foibles writing group. Also, Tributaries rolled into my inbox with Brian Doyle for a second day. “To catch and share stories, what could be holier and cooler than that?” the writer from Oregon said to The Oregonian. “Stories change lives; stories save lives. … They crack open hearts, they open minds.” Yes. Yes, they do. I am on the right track.
Day 35: Saturday, May 5th, 2018
Sleeping in the English School wing of the McMenamins Kennedy School: Brian Doyle’s Mink River room. I cracked the spine and read a few, then added it to my Goodreads and soon fell asleep.
Day 34: Friday, May 4th, 2018
Well, here we are. Sleeping instead of getting up to write; scratchy allergy throat. An afternoon with little people at the zoo, the coffee shop, the park, in the presence of a friend who use to share those kidless morning breakfasts with me when we thought life was full and hard. A listening ear. Sharing the goals and excitements, trading updates, laying our memoir projects out in bare sunshine.
Day 33: Thursday, May 3rd, 2018
Writing again before sunrise. Exchanging draft manuscripts for feedback. Setting it all aside once the kiddo’s wake for the new day.
Day 32: Wednesday, May 2nd, 2018
Finished The Memoir Project this morning (just two hours before the digital loan was due back at the library). Work is nearly all-consuming right now, but I spent time simultaneously getting things done and listening to three helpful interviews with an agent, a PR pro, and a communication consultant. One stand out message: it’s going to take the time it takes. It’s about steady progress. Also: Marion Roach’s “the vomit draft” keeps cycling through my mind. Couldn’t there be a nicer way to say it? Couldn’t there be a nicer way to do it? Maybe not.
Day 31: Tuesday, May 1st, 2018
Firming up plans for a h*w in-person get together in Portland. Watching a central Oregon book launch on IG. Taking care of my day job. Writing tidbits after the past few days of passages.
Day 30: Monday, April 30th, 2018
The friendly tone of her email was so disarming I almost forgot to feel the thrill of hearing back from the PR contact I’d met a few weeks ago. Now, what to do with the info? I feel like being cryptic because it can’t hurt (as opposed to the opposite, which may). Then again, I’m all questions. Thankfully, my writing/publishing groups are at the ready. (How oblique.)
Day 29: Sunday, April 29th, 2018
I forgot how many library books I’d reserved. Another “how-to” showed up on my hold shelf. Only so many how-to’s before the must-dos, eh?
Day 28: Saturday, April 28th, 2018
Five o’clock writing session as the sun rose slowly over my studio. Going back, back to pull the dusty memories forward and polish them for today.
Day 27: Friday, April 27th, 2018
Loving Marion Roach Smith’s The Memoir Project: A Thoroughly Non-Standard Text for Writing & Life. (And not solely because my grandpa and my daughter share the name Marion.)
Day 26: Thursday, April 26th, 2018
Received another writer’s manuscript for critique. Not an honor I take lightly, receiving someone else’s work, entering in to the personal experience of seeing and being seen through words.
Day 25: Wednesday, April 25th, 2018
Bit by bit.
Day 24: Tuesday, April 24th, 2018
Car troubles. Thrown schedule. Whoops. Life. Zero writing work. (Not totally true: went to dinner with my brothers and gave them updates on the conference and my next steps.)
Day 23: Monday, April 23rd, 2018
I read through this lovely recap of FFW and felt relief and jealousy that someone else had captured so much of my own experience in such a thoughtful way. These hard days carrying the weight of other roles mean little leftover strength to give the craft. News: a PR contact kindly followed up with me and put a little spring in my finger-step. Also: fresh energy for our writing group, where I plan to do more wrestling with my own manuscript and help shape and refine the work of thoughtful peers. I sent out a few more follow up emails. Step by (finger-)step.
Day 22: Sunday, April 22nd, 2018
This same day that I’m running a 10K (without proper training, shhh!), I’m participating in an encouragement group for a writer who is on the final stretch — her manuscript is due within days. Curious. It’s an act of faith to consider I’ll get there someday myself, and it’s a warning of life that I’ll cross in better shape if I keep up with the daily and weekly practices I’m tempted to neglect in the busyness.
Day 21: Saturday, April 22nd, 2018
Flickers of life on Voxer. We’ll get this new writing group off the ground one way or another!
Day 20: Friday, April 22nd, 2018
No really, nothing to report. This is the sit on the side of the road and huff and puff for oxygen part of the road to published. (Though I’m not far enough up the mountain for that metaphor, I’m afraid.)
Day 19: Thursday, April 22nd, 2018
A repeat of yesterday.
Days 18: Wednesday, April 18th , 2018
Writing work emails. Nothing to report.
Day 17: Tuesday, April 17th, 2018
Feeling inadequate to weave all the new inputs into a cohesive piece. Aching to send replies. More time, soon, I hope.
Day 16: Monday, April 16th, 2018
Zero time for writing; all the hours went to family and work. Emails from new friends and contacts cheered my inbox while I shoveled out from underneath the duty pile.
Day 15: Sunday, April 15th, 2018
Escaped a blizzard to return to the rain. Flew home bawling into my iPhone as I finished the Florida Project, reflecting on life at Stepping Stones and the pain of the world. So many leads to follow, so many bits of advice and direction to treasure well.
Day 14: Saturday, April 14th, 2018
Went first thing to the campus bookstore to buy another pen. Snagged a two pack. Bumped into new-ish old friends; gave my second pen to a new friend. Teared up, fired up, looking up, asking. Sitting down, breaking bread, pausing to reflect. Lists and lists and lists. And time.
Day 13: Friday, April 13th, 2018
Today, “You can’t invite somebody to their own house.” -Natasha Oladoken. Today, I spoke with a few kind people: publishers, editors, PR pros. Today my pen bled dry. Or rather, my pen broke, and bled black ink across my nail beds and palms, and then I threw the worthless thing away and washed my hands. I’m left with one red Pilot G-2 07 for tomorrow’s final day of the Festival.
Day 12: Thursday, April 12th, 2018
A house of 20 ladies and a stomach full of butterflies prior to the first day of the Festival of Faith & Writing. Great moral support riding in with a fellow writer also prepping to pitch and attempting to learn the ropes as an aspiring author (and first-time writing conference attendee). Sowed a few seeds.
Day 11: Wednesday, April 11th, 2018
I couldn’t find my water bottled before the Uber driver showed up at 3:40am. That dinged up purple Klean Kanteen came around the world with me (and to Autzen Stadium where I managed a recovery, 10,000 people later, after security forced me to abandon it outside the gates for the duration of a Duck game), but it sadly didn’t get to travel to Michigan. Good news, though: Capers Cafe opened at 4:00am, in time for me to get my “free” $28/worth of airport food before boarding. The cross on Rocky Butte glowed out the window while the plane pulled high above my neighborhood and into the pitch black sky. Reflecting, I thought of my walk with a dear friend and prayers for the steps of faith. Julien Baker concert, and contemplations on creation from the artist’s heart and world.
Day 10: Tuesday, April 10th, 2018
All packed for departure. I’ll be up early. (I originally typed “bright and early!” but realized it’ll be 100% dark when I call for the cab at 3:30am, and I likely won’t be feeling exclamation marks since I’ll still be recovering from last night’s meager 2am-6am stretch of sleep.) Shaking off the self doubt, carrying the business cards and one sheets and odds and ends. Grateful and excited to take my second solo trip in six months’ time. Cheers to winged adventure! (There’s some sincere punctuation.)
Day 9: Monday, April 9th, 2018
Mining podcasts, websites, videos, library books (FB groups, Twitter feeds…) for insights, tips, tidbits, instructions, encouragements, recommendations, and reminders. My typical DIY grad school habits are kicking in once again.
Day 8: Sunday, April 8th, 2018
Wrapped in too much anticipation.
Day 7: Saturday, April 7th, 2018
I laid on the chiropractor’s table while she worked on myofascial release. The stirring movement brought relief to my body while I pictured interconnected webs of wonder and thought running between my heart and mind. These stuck pieces, hung up on perfection or fear, can be ever so gently teased out, I suppose. A little pressure, a little nudge, a little reminder to let movement restore vitality. I reached out to a trusted old friend and asked for support on this journey. Her enthusiastic “Yes!” brought a jolt of joy.
Day 6: Friday, April 6th, 2018
One sheet doubts. Too late; they’re sent off to the printer. I waffle between taking the whole process super seriously and taking a deep breath to remind myself it’s a creative effort. Grateful for first-of-the-season iced coffees with an encouraging writing friend. Excited for the Festival next week.
Day 5: Thursday, April 5th, 2018
The alarm clock went off at 5:30am. Nope, I didn’t make it up to start the day on my keyboard, but now it’s minutes to midnight, and I do have progress to show for the day: business cards for my writing life that came in today’s mail and a revised one sheet almost ready to send off to the printer. I remember going to get travel immunizations and tweeting about Yellow Fever long before my plane left the ground. I think, I hope, I’m squashing future bugs by doing more homework up front. (And then, in the meantime, back to gardens. Today I finished a concept plan for the local school, in partnership with the Immigrant and Refugee Community Organization. A circular bed surrounded by diversity: distinct, and unified. A central tree: a symbol of nature marking time, changing with the seasons.) Thankful to bring beauty to the world through my pencil and my keyboard…
Day 4: Wednesday, April 4th, 2018
Absorbing Marion Roach’s memoir writing tips. Reevaluating my proposal approach. So many pieces to the story: A Beautiful Mind style galaxy of formulas and connections exploding across my mind. How to tell enough (and no more), beautifully, truthfully? Landscape architecture and garden design work requires the bulk of my daytime hours right now… Contemplating waking at 3am or 4am to get the work done.
Day 3: Tuesday, April 3rd, 2018
Made the mistake of revisiting sample chapters without time and tools to revise and rewrite. (AKA, I had Siri read them to me while I drove across town for my day job.) Ouch. My words battled with my memories and my heart. My stomach dropped toward the driver’s seat while I gripped the wheel and legitimately wondered, “Is it too late to take it back!? Maybe a do-over?” But no. What’s out there is out there, and I’m already ready to whittle away at another revision just as soon as I am able. I want so desperately to do justice to the themes and to the story. I spent time tonight revisiting the agent list I’d roughly started six weeks ago. Added a few more. Bolded a few names I would absolutely love to query. After six months of consideration (and plenty of podcast listening), I finally made the decision to join hope*writers.
Day 2: Monday, April 2nd, 2018
Was yesterday a joke? I realized later I hadn’t been fooled once…but then I questioned if I’d been entirely fooled by the confidence to throw my hat into the ring. Self doubt. Here come the waves. But, as Ted reminded me: the difference between an F and not turning it in is 60% vs. zero. I completed my first attempt, and that counts for something. Something to build on. Something to shape and refine. Finished Dani Shapiro’s Still Writing and reminded myself to not be like the galloping horses girl: I must write this book out of my heart, not under the gun.
Day 1: Sunday, April 1st, 2018
For all the years and words spent getting to this new starting line, I’m beginning with a finish in my heart and a wide sense of wonder at how this will unfold, and I’m a ball of nerves. Knowing that a journey begins with a step, I hit “submit” on my first book proposal. I can only imagine how many iterations are yet to come, and how many excruciatingly vulnerable and anxiety-ridden valleys stand between me and the peek inside a cover that bears my name and a tale that bares a bit of soul, but I’m going to start this log just as I did that first one several years ago. Momentously simple. Day by day.
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