BabyOregonian, Musings, Tidbits About Us


September 23, 2015

First it was just us two.

Then three.

Then our hearts broke when we thought four was certain…but life held other mysteries.

Now, sweet little four is due to join us in the short, cold days of winter, and we’re living in the joy of anticipation.

I’ve been so angsty these past four months: unsure of how to process, unsure of how to celebrate, unsure of how to share the news.

My heart hurts even right now for dear friends carrying the weight of bitter pain while I get to post this cheery note.

For every pregnancy announcement popping up, I’m acutely aware that another heart somewhere is stinging with loss.

For every pair of baby shoes joining the row of family sneakers, every gaggle of blue/pink balloons soaring into the air, every double line on a stick that was, let’s face it, involved in someone’s trip to the toilet, for every happy due date…there is another someone’s disappointing goodbye to the fertility specialist, a punch-in-the-gut ultrasound sending parents spinning into darkness, a purchased pack of pads for blood spilled much too early.

It’s messy business, this life.

This bringing of life.

This mourning of lost lives.

This wishing for lives that haven’t come to be.

This living with it all.

We shoulder the sorrows of the brokenhearted.
We hope, and we trust, and we revel in joy when joy is near.

If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there;
if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.
-Psalm 34:18, The Message

And now, God, do it again—
bring rains to our drought-stricken lives
So those who planted their crops in despair
will shout hurrahs at the harvest,
So those who went off with heavy hearts
will come home laughing, with armloads of blessing.
-Psalm 126:4-6, The Message

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  • Reply Charlotte September 23, 2015 at 3:05 pm

    Oh sweetie I’m so excited for you!! All of you!! Isn’t the due date your birthday… or really close to it? How cool is that :)

    • Reply Bethany ~ twoOregonians September 23, 2015 at 3:33 pm

      Thank you, Charlotte! Yes, the day after mine (the 3rd) and just a few days before Ted’s (the 7th). And my mom’s is the 12th…though I’d like to hope I don’t go that late ;) We’re so happy!

  • Reply Carmel September 23, 2015 at 3:32 pm

    Aw, Bethany, this is such joyous news! As much as I have been dwelling on only the joys and little inconveniences of pregnancy, deep down inside I am so aware of the flip side of things that you so eloquently express here. I haven’t experienced this loss personally, but I have plenty of friends and dear family who have. It’s a pain that I cannot imagine. Life is so fragile and precious. I am so happy for your family that you are bringing a new little one into the world. Wishing you all the joy and wonder of this time of growth!!! <3

    • Reply Bethany ~ twoOregonians September 23, 2015 at 3:37 pm

      Carmel! I’ve been secretly so excited to be pregnant at the same time as you. I just about burst when I saw your announcement — how terrific is that?! I admire you, too, for processing through life as you guys go through these same sorts of transitions… I can only hope to live with and carry the compassion that grows in me the more I hear other people’s stories, you know? Gosh, again, just so happy for you and Shaun and your wee little one on the way :) Big hugs!!

  • Reply Sue R. September 23, 2015 at 3:35 pm

    Your tender heart is showing…

    • Reply Bethany ~ twoOregonians October 26, 2015 at 10:05 am

      You’re such a dear, yourself. Thank you, Sue xx

  • Reply Rhonda October 15, 2015 at 10:01 am

    congratulations! Very exciting news.

    • Reply Bethany ~ twoOregonians October 26, 2015 at 10:06 am

      Rhonda! Thank you :) We’re looking forward to having a little tiny one in the house again. (Amazing how quickly Lucie turned into a toddler…)

    What say you?